“Ugh! This deadline is looming and I don’t have anything yet!” Sara looked up from her computer long enough to roll her eyes but otherwise ignored me. Fuck her anyway. She never gets her shit done on time. Last month she kept me waiting on her stats until five minutes before the sales meeting. EdwardContinue reading “The Christmas Gift”
Author Archives: Natolie Webb
An Open Letter to my Crappy Boss
Source (picture of a stop sign set against a cloudy sky) Dear Barbara,I’m struggling to understandWhat possesses youTo behave so spitefullyIn nearly all of our interactions.Was there something specificI did to upset you?Or are you driven bySome internal greedFor the kind of powerGiven only toMiddle managers?I’m asking becauseI’m losing the abilityTo give a FuckAbout yourContinue reading “An Open Letter to my Crappy Boss”
Toxic
Source:(picture of open scissors in someone’s hand) He wished his third wife were here. She was younger and prettier and made other men’s eyes follow him, with envy. But she was away on one of her weekends and he was stuck staring at his first wife’s ugly, wrinkled face. “How could you let this happenContinue reading “Toxic”
Dying
He would die. His disease would progress and he would die and they both knew it. It was heartbreaking, she thought, to find love when it was already too late make a life together. “I know it’s incredibly unfair to you,” he said, “but I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m in loveContinue reading “Dying”
Jazz
Rain lashes the car windows as we drive through the city, matching my mood. I’m tired and my body hurts. I really don’t want to be out tonight. “You got this, Babe? Maybe I should bring you home real quick.” My husband knows I’m hurting. I can’t hide my constant yawning or the circles underContinue reading “Jazz”
Carolyn
Source (Graveyard at night): “What would happen if I crossed the threshold?” he teased sliding his left foot closer to the mausoleum. “Don’t,” I pleaded, “it’s not funny.” ignoring me, he pantomimed reaching for the door. “The last time I saw him he disappeared through that door,” she said it quietly but my head snappedContinue reading “Carolyn”
Ode to my Bullshit Coworker: I Wish He Were Toast
My friend tells me there’s mouse poop in the office toaster It’s the one Bob and I bought together While he still graced us with his daily presence But I hated Bob I hated his presence I hated his ugliness from the inside out And yet I learned to imitate My disgusted disdain Reflecting hisContinue reading “Ode to my Bullshit Coworker: I Wish He Were Toast”
Kombucha
“I see you like kombucha.” “It is very good for you. Helps you lose weight.” My eyes rolled involuntarily. I’m not going to get all impressed because you notice I’m overweight. It’s not like no one has ever noticed before. I start to walk again but I feel a surprisingly strong grip on my wrist.Continue reading “Kombucha”
I’m a Cat Person!
Starting things out on a light note… My family always had cats when I was growing up and I love them. Nothing makes me feel more at home than cuddling in bed with a purring cat on me. To me it’s the epitome of relaxation. Are they stinky? Absolutely. Do they puke everywhere? Yup. DoContinue reading “I’m a Cat Person!”
Natolie Webb 