“I’m not sitting there. There’s a smear of something gross looking.” “I’m holding a gun to your head and I’m telling you to sit the chair. Sit in the fucking chair!” “No, Vinnie. You know I don’t wear underwear and I’m not sitting because I don’t know what that smear is and it looks gross.”Continue reading “Kidnapped”
Tag Archives: comedy
Love Potions?
“They’ve been in session for an hour already. Where have you been?” “Love potions are delicate. Platonic love is much harder to mix. It requires a very steady hand.” “Fine. Whatever. Did you manage it?” “Of course. The fate of the world is at stake. Did you think I wouldn’t have given it the utmostContinue reading “Love Potions?”
Boogers
The plan was foolproof… Sneak in, plant the evidence and leave. The guy didn’t even bother with an alarm system. It should have been easy money but it wasn’t. The job had gone sideways pretty quickly. All he had to do was leave the envelope in one if the desk drawers but when he openedContinue reading “Boogers”
Complaint Department
June 4, 2024Urbane Profession Simulators, Inc.155 E. 55th St.New York, NY 10022 To Whom It May Concern: This letter is to express my extreme dissatisfaction with my recent purchase. If I were to say that your product did not deliver as advertised it would be a gross understatement! If I could have foreseen the griefContinue reading “Complaint Department”
Natolie Webb 