Kidnapped

“I’m not sitting there. There’s a smear of something gross looking.”

“I’m holding a gun to your head and I’m telling you to sit the chair. Sit in the fucking chair!”

“No, Vinnie. You know I don’t wear underwear and I’m not sitting because I don’t know what that smear is and it looks gross.”

“This is why we broke up because you’re always a fucking pain in the ass.”

“Fuck you, Vinnie. We broke up because I found out you killed a guy… And you can forget getting back together now that you kidnapped me at gunpoint. You’re going to be sorry when my cousin, Sal hears about this.”

“Cut the shit, Francesca. I’m not afraid of your cousin. Now sit in the fucking chair!”

“Put a towel down.”

“Jesus H. Christ! Fine! What the fuck did I see in you? Jimmy! Get a fucking towel!”

Jimmy trotted obediently to the bathroom and came, back empty handed, “There are no towels, Boss.”

“Fuck! Francesca just get in the fucking chair.”

“No. It looks like someone shit on it. Jeez, Vinnie, did someone shit on it?” Jimmy averted his eyes.

“Fuck! Ok. Fine. Sit on the floor.”

“No. You’ll get me a good chair, Vinnie Morelli or I’ll tell Jimmy all your secrets… And I mean ALL of them.”

“Fine! Jimmy get the office chair and take your shirt off to cover the seat. I’m tired of arguing with this bitch.”

Originally published for Instagram’s Cringeworthy Writing Challenge July 2019 Day 7 “smear”